We find unique and personal answers by meeting some of the women behind KU Boobs and sharing their stories. Our first story comes to us from @rubystilettos, an early and frequent contributor to KU Boobs.

KU Boobs and Self-Image: How a risqué little good-luck ritual helped me learn to love my body—flaws and all.

For most of my life—pretty much since I got them, honestly—I disliked my breasts. This would probably surprise a lot of people, given how much I contribute to KU Boobs, but it’s true. I spent the better part of my teenage years feeling awkward and uncomfortable about them and most of my twenties feeling self-conscious about how they looked outside of clothing. It actually wasn’t until I started posting to KU Boobs that I started to think maybe they were okay, after all. Or maybe even more than okay. Maybe even great.

When I was a little girl, I desperately wanted big boobs. I would run around the house in my older sister’s bras, stuffing them with toilet tissue and admiring their outline in the mirror. I can even distinctly remember praying for them on a number of occasions. It never occurred to me that God probably had more important things to worry about than whether or not I was going to get the kind of curves I wanted. At the time, it seemed like a perfectly valid thing to ask for. This is one of those “be-careful-what-you-wish-for” stories, because I ended up with way more than I bargained for.

I developed early.  By the time I was nine, I had more in my training bra than the rest of the girls in my grade combined. When I left elementary school at age twelve, I was a full C-cup. I tried out for a spot as a Munchkin in the local high school production of the Wizard of Oz, and I made the cut talent-wise but was unable to take the part when we discovered that none of the child-sized tops would fit my breasts. I would go to the grocery store with my mom and boys—sometimes even grown men—would unabashedly stare at my chest. At that point, I was just praying for them to stop getting bigger, but I had a couple more years of anxiety ahead of me before they eventually quit. I finally stopped growing around tenth grade and topped out at a 34DDD. In high school, a group of my male classmates took to calling me “Double-D.” It wasn’t meant as an insult, I’m sure, and the guy who coined the nickname has since written to me and apologized, but at the time it was humiliating. I wasn’t about to tell them they were underestimating by a full cup size. All the cute clothes I wanted to wear didn’t fit right and my sport of choice, diving, was never going to work out with my huge breasts flying all over the place when I bounced on the board. Discouraged, I quit diving at fifteen and never even tried out for our high school team. I started to actually loathe my breasts for making my life so much more difficult than it needed to be.

At age twenty, I had already been working in vet hospitals and shelters for about five years. I had a very physical job that involved standing on my feet all day and lifting heavy animals over and over again. The extra weight on my chest was starting to take its toll on my back. I had chronic lower back pain and my clavicles were starting to bow where my bra straps dug in, attempting to support my huge chest. Enough was enough. I decided to get a breast reduction. My boyfriend at the time thought it was sacrilege, but I was tired of dealing with it all. I asked my doctor for a referral to a plastic surgeon and was scheduled within the month.

Surgery was a disaster. My incisions were closed with staples, which don’t hold nearly as well as sutures and aren’t really suited toward procedures where you want the end result to be aesthetically pleasing. I didn’t get a reduction for cosmetic reasons, but I still wanted them to be pretty when all was said and done. On the right side, my skin had been pulled too tight. The staples didn’t hold up, and my incision line split in three different places. As you can imagine, it was horribly painful, and it was going to leave me with a seriously disfigured breast. I had to fight the doctor for three weeks before he agreed to go back in and do a correction. I now have horrible scarring on that side. In addition, my skin reacted badly to the staples and I have a raised scar from each and every metal prong that went in along my incisions. The scarring was so bad that my boyfriend took to calling me “Frankenboobs,” a move which wasn’t helping with my already tanking sexual self-image.

The whole situation really messed up how I viewed my breasts. I was pleased with the size (now a nice comfortable D-cup) and the shape, but I hated the way my bare chest looked. I broke up with the aforementioned insensitive asshole, and every guy I dated afterward was really supportive about them. My current boyfriend loves my breasts. But I still felt like they were ugly and horrible, despite his reassurances to the contrary.

Then, last year during basketball season, KU Boobs started up. I had just whipped up a cute halter top on my sewing machine to wear to a local brewery for the game, and I decided to post it. It was my first ever submission, and probably the only boob pic I’d ever sent to anyone I wasn’t dating at the time. I was surprised when it got great feedback. I submitted a few more over the course of March Madness and never got anything but positive comments. I had originally submitted just to cheer on my team and show my Jayhawk pride, and that’s still my main motivation for sending in photos, but it definitely made me feel a little better to know that the general public thought my boobs were A-ok.

There has been some question in my mind as to whether or not my breasts technically count as “natural,” since what I have is still all mine even though they’ve been altered, but honestly I think the great thing about the KU Boobs movement is that it embraces all boobs, no matter what category people try to lump them into. Big breasts, small breasts, fake breasts, natural breasts… it doesn’t seem to matter much, and I think most fans of the boobment would agree that all of them are awesome in their own right.

I still have a somewhat strained relationship with my breasts. I still hate the scars, and you will almost certainly never see one of the oh-so-popular underboob shots from me because of that. I’m also struggling with the knowledge that my surgeon’s incompetence may have cost me the chance to breastfeed the baby I’m expecting in July. It’s one thing that they’re cosmetically compromised, but the fact that they may be non-functional as well is a bitter pill to swallow. But KU Boobs and all the fans who have said such positive things about my breasts have helped me realize that in most ways, really, they’re pretty fantastic.

After nineteen years of self-loathing, it’s pretty nice to be able to look in the mirror and start to love what I see. They might not be perfect, but they’re mine and they rock! Thanks for helping me realize that, guys.

Now let’s keep up the boobmentum and win ourselves a championship! Rock Chalk Jayhawk, GO KU!

Follow @rubystilettos on Twitter

KU Boobs Headquarters
Lawrence, KS

9:10 P.M. CST

THE PRESIDENT:  Dr. James Naismith, Dr. Phog Allen, followers of @KUboobs, distinguished Facebook friends, and fellow Jayhawks:

It is my task to report the state of the Boobment.  To improve it, is the task of us all. Tonight, thanks to the grit and determination of Jayhawk Nation, there is much progress to report.

We gather tonight knowing that this generation of fans has made Jayhawk Nation proud and more revered around the world.  (Applause.)  The Boobment which began far above the Golden Valley glorious to view, has spread to over 300 universites and colleges in America.  (Applause.)  We have over 36,000 followers on Twitter and over 18,000 fans on Facebook.  (Applause.)

So, together, we can say with renewed confidence, that the state of the Boobment is strong.  (Applause.)

These achievements are a testament to the courage, selflessness and teamwork of the women of KU Boobs.  (Applause.)  At a time when too many of our institutions have let us down, they exceed all expectations.  They’re not consumed with personal ambition.  They don’t obsess over their differences.  They focus on the mission at hand.  They work together.  (Applause.)

Imagine what we could accomplish if we all followed their example.  (Applause.)  Think about the America within our reach:  A country that leads the world in self-confidence among its people.  A future where we’re in control of our own self-image, and our security and happiness aren’t so tied to what others think. (Applause.)

The state of our Boobment is getting stronger.  And we’ve come too far to turn back now.  As long as I’m President, I will work with anyone in Jayhawk Nation to build on this boobmentum.  (Applause.)

Thank you, God bless you, and God bless the Jayhawk Nation.  Rock Chalk Jayhawk.  (Applause.)

END
9:16 P.M. CST

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It’s the biggest Mardi Gras celebration in Kansas City! Compete to win over $500 in cash and prizes for Best Costume & Most Beads! Live music, Bourbon Street Entertainers, Contests and more beginning at 8 PM. Full details at http://www.PowerAndLightDistrict.com/MardiGras